Why I left Ripple

I am still getting messages by this day by people still thinking that I am affiliated with Ripple. Many people did not even realize that I left due to how Ripple "handled" the issue, and instead ignored everything and acted as nothing had ever happened. I will be surprised if people take the time to read this since Ripple themselves did not care at all.

Me as a chat moderator

I were on good terms with everyone there as I normally just do my own thing anyways and try my best to improve things. As some of you might know I were just a chat manager although I did more development orientated stuff. I made things like an irc bridge for the rest of our chat moderators so we did not have to constantly be ingame or use our own irc program to look after the chat. Since we were already all using discord I made it so all chat from ingame were nicely organized in discord and staff members could post directly into the discord chat to send a message ingame with their own account. This also worked on a bit of an automode when we had some spam problems and I also worked on spam and rule breaking detections where if the irc bot detected something phishy it should highlight the chat moderator role for someone to take actions.

This worked great but had some problems. One thing is that I were fairly new to python at the time and the irc bridge were my first ever python script. This resulted in some problems maintaining it and fixing some small issues, but overall it worked pretty well for what it was designed for. I should like to think that less things went unnoticed in chat since we should always have easily accessible logs for chat mods and a way for us to interact with chat on any platform. I got some toxic feedback from some very loud osu players where they got angry at me for "afk farming" as chat moderator. I do not see how that is even an argument but for the sake of it, people could always type your username in chat and we should get highlighted on discord to see what was going on.

CTB PP

One of my more known contribution to the community is the introduction of ctb pp. I spent a good month and a half working on this where I did work every day and on weekends I tend to just work the whole day as I enjoy working on things on my own. After a month of working on it I started to need test data or testers to find bugs, so I opted to make a makeshift method to implement it to an running ripple instance and tested it on another smaller private server (Akatsuki). It was a win win situation where they were the first private server to get ctb pp before anyone else, and I got the perfect amount of testers to not be overwhelmed by bugs but enough to find the biggest ones that I had overlooked.

Then right around xmas time Ripple just implemented my calculator without really warning me about it, so they got a slightly buggy version where some mods did not apply any changes as I had not yet pushed the change when they implemented it. Although this was quickly fixed it was already too late as I were starting to get bombed on discord by people yelling at me for releasing buggy trash.

I am surprised that people even knew that I were the one that made it. Cause none of the announcements on discord about the implementation nor the website itself stated anything about it.

And for the website I had to message Nyo himself as it was still not there a month after. It is not a good feeling to be the only person to credit yourself... I spent over a month on this simply because people wanted it for Ripple as I do not even play ctb.

What actually happened

So now that you know the genuine feel I had around this time; to top it off I started getting harassed by another staff member. It started light by them.. It was AiAeGames (Daniel). I normally do not point people out for what wrong they have done, but this will be the first exception as I went to check and I see that he is continuing to lie about what happened and say that I were kicked off the team for working on other servers.

So as I were saying, it started somewhat light by him "testing the water" (by his standards I guess). I am normally never in voicechat as I have low self esteem and feel just bad about myself when I do. For the first time since I joined I were talking to Swan in voicechat with AiAe just sitting muted in the same channel. AiAe then thought it was a good idea to send a picture of me to Swan via email (anonymously (I think due to Swan not knowing who it was from)).

To give a bit of an idea; I were happy for finally choosing to come out where I was at the time as transgender and felt very light after putting of that weight of thought. I have not felt as happy for myself for something that many take for granted (Simply being yourself). Since I do not take any medicine and have not started with hrt or anything all I could do was to wear different clothes etc. I can admit that it did not look great, but I did not care as I felt to happy for that to bring me down. So the picture in question was just me wearing skirt etc. (There was some other pics and info about me that he got since I trusted him as a friend before this happened which I will bet he will use as blackmail if it continued for longer then it did)

After AiAe made Swan look at it, Swan's reaction was... not something I should do, but I feel that he is excused as it was unfortunate and it was not meant as a shook picture or whatever it was turned into by AiAe. Swan said something along of "WTH is this?", in a somewhat laughing and shook manner and posted it in general chat for other people to see as well.

All I remember after that was that I got a pierced feeling and my mood was ruined for the day and I left the chat. I also somewhat remember Swan finding out that it was me and deleting the picture, and I later contacted him to try to get the awkwardness away and move on. I felt like it was better to do that then to just pretend it didn't happen. Although I still felt horrible afterwards at least it felt a little better after me trying to break up awkwardness surrounding me that AiAe created. (Never been in a voicechat with Swan since)

Little did I know that AiAe got a kick out of this situation and choose to continue at random intervals. I can't remember all of the occurrences, but I remember that in some periods it was way more frequent. The methods he used this time was going to other discord servers that I were part of and posting it in there and often in nsfw channels. I also got some messages from other people in DM warning me that he was doing this. And sometimes quite silly things just to irritate me.

I found my picture in one of his shared dropbox folders and when I told him to take it off he got irritated and played it of as "That is too much work". I told him about it a few times at the duration of a week or two and then when getting nowhere I just reported the picture to get it removed as it does not follow dropbox's TOS. When I did this he got pissed at me because he meant that now dropbox will scan his files and delete other things as well. He then moved it to onedrive and told me good luck trying to get that deleted. After this it got more frequent when he choose to spam it in places.

At one point he also uploaded it to some russian porn website and sent me the link to show me that even if I somehow got it deleted from onedrive he will always have it in other places. He told me this in goeo's discord server and he saw it happening and at least deleted the messages from the chat.

This was going on for half a year when I choose that I have had enough. I were unable to do anything with the community as people should yell at me if I did chat moderator things, and I felt that I could not do much as AiAe could at any time just bring up things in a blackmaily fashion. I randomly left one day when AiAe and I started something in DM as I felt that he is too unstable to deal with. When I left they just removed me from the team the same minute I left (So I am guessing community managers have permission to do that?), and nobody even noticed.

Staff community

When I joined it seem that the others were happy that I choose to join them as I have been part of the community since close to the beginning. I got along with the others quite well and sometimes went into groups with them and did things. It became less and less of this when the AiAe drama was going on and I just felt down about the whole situation. My biggest problem with how this situation was "handled" was that nearly every staff member knew about this, but yet nobody lifted a finger.

When I finally left I messaged Howl directly and told him about it myself. The feedback gave me mixed feelings as he seem to understand that this is a problem and that AiAe is an unstable child. He even came up with some ideas of what to do, but in the end choose neither and just keep AiAe as community manager.

At a later time even after I left I got people after me from the aftermath of what had happened that were misinformed about what had happened... Thanks to the community for letting people know >.>I messaged Howl about this as well that either people are still causing drama around this or that AiAe have not let this go and is continuing to spread this for various reasons.

I got some snitches on the Ripple discord after I left tell me that AiAe dodges the question about why I left and rather say that I got kicked for being affiliated with other private servers. He also still has some attitude towards me for some reason where he says things (Some people might know what I mean with this, but if you don't then don't worry about it)

If you want some of those pictures that he got of me then just message him on discord as AiAe is one of those people that will most likely gladly share them as he have no sympathy for others and don't care since he never get any consequences. I should not be surprised if the reason that I got attacked again many months after I left is due to him getting himself into a situation where he felt like he should send it to other people and lie about what happened since that is what he does publicly in the Ripple discord anyways.

Emily @osufx